Back

I'm back. Back to everyday life. Also back to blogging. I took some time off away from here. I just couldn't be bothered to sit down and compose my thoughts into something intelligible. Everything has just been a mish mash of sorts...

Coming back from a week-long cruise is giving me some energy + focus though. Plus the fact that it's September and I can feel fall in the air. :) Speaking of the cruise, it was a great adventure! I want to go on another one next year. It was pure fun, sitting around + eating + just letting things be. I really enjoyed this trip. Every time I go on a trip, it's usually go-go-go. Itineraries packed to the brim. But cruising is a totally different way of traveling. Will definitely look into going on another one...:) What a great way to celebrate my birthday. Well, technically I had my birthday before I left for the trip, but I always said that I'd celebrate my day on the ship. Since Sis #4's birthday is 5 days after mine, we've often celebrated them at the same time. I have a video of when I had my 16th, and her 2nd, at Jollibee. Fun times. Anyway, this year, we got cake and were sung to by the whole dinner restaurant and staff. It was special.

First day back at work today. Swamped with emails and catching up with stuff. It feels good to be back though. Slowly getting into the groove of things. Looking forward to finishing up things I left hanging before my trip...

And since it's over, I'd like to post my list of things to do before turning 29. I made this list in early June, so my excuse for not accomplishing everything on this list is that I only had around 3 months to finish them instead of a full year. :) Will post my new list in the next day or so...

1. Submit research paper.
2. Finish my Europe album.
3. Travel. -done
4. Submit a LO for a challenge. -done
5. Submit a LO for a contest. -done
6. Submit a LO for a guest designer call. -done
7. Join a Bible/church group.
8. Get a wall mirror. -done
9. Bake something. -done
10. Organize my craft room. -done
11. Read 5 books of the Bible. -done
12. Swim once a week.
13. Paint table.
14. Watch a movie in the cinema. -done
15. Read chapter on UTI in Koda-Kimble.
16. Read chapter on Osteomyelitis in Koda-Kimble.
17. Hang frames in house.
18. Read 3 books. -done
19. Get a camera! -done
20. Walk across Golden Gate Bridge. -done
21. Watch Mary Poppins.
22. Learn to change my tires. -done
23. Start a blog. -done
24. Reconnect with old friends. -done
25. Visit Mary Ann. -done
26. Join Mensa.
27. Join Toastmasters.
28. Make something for my wall and hang it.

I just finished making my bed. I started last night, and I only finished today. Seriously, changing sheets is hard work! When/If I get married, changing the sheets is going to be one of those chores that needs to be done by 2 people. That's definitely going to be a requirement. I'm glad my bed at my parents' is only a twin. I'm going back again tomorrow, and will spend all weekend there, until Tuesday. I have the next 4 days off. Planned but things changed. Plans fall through. That's what they do. Anyway, it'll be a good chance to catch up with the girls. Thinking of making this yummy warm scallop salad that I saw in 24 today.

Later. Off to cross off some more stuff on my list. :)

August thoughts

Haven't posted in a while. Some thoughts...

Yesterday I got home and went to my room and pulled out his letters. Four or 5 of them. All written on a white lined notepad. I sat in my closet and read them. And then I crawled into bed and listened to my heartbeat. And I wondered if I would ever forget, and get past the pain. But I don't want to forget. I want to remember and to forget. I want to be 10 years older. 10 years younger.

Over the weekend, I test drove a few vehicles with Sis #1 and 2. I fell in love with the Acura RDX and want one now. I can tell that it's an emotional want for me, as opposed to a need. I know fully well that it just doesn't make sense to get one right now. Money is a little tight. I haven't included buying a car into my savings plan. Nevertheless, test driving it was a piece of heaven, a blissful memory to recall...

Thoroughly enjoying Chris Tomlin. Also started reading a new book. If you have time, snoop around the site; it's quite interesting.

Mom and Aunt are leaving tomorrow. Don't know when they will be back. I hope it won't be too soon......And I mean that in the best possible sense. See they're going to be with another aunt who's sick. Can't talk about it too much here. So I'll just leave it like that.

It's August. My month. My time. My hours, my days, my life. It's going to be a good month.

Season Talk

I was just noticing that it's been more relaxed here in the last couple of weeks. Not as rushed. Not as go-go-go. There has been time to just sit on the couch and read the paper or a book. Time to just browse internet and read blogs. Time to do housework and keep the house clean and neat. Time to just be.

Now that I've said it though, it seems that that's what I've always done anyways. Maybe the shift is in myself. Learning to take things as they come, and to not have this expectation to rush through tasks and pass life by.

I feel some breeze coming through the windows. Today was a scorcher. I'm realizing that I'm definitely not a summer person. I don't like being sticky. More than a couple times, I seriously contemplated running from the end of my bedroom which is on the 2nd floor of the house, jumping out the window and diving into my neighbor's big blue pool that's sitting invitingly in their backyard. Don't get me wrong; summer is great. I love the extended days, the feeling that you can accomplish everything in your day. I love the iced teas and sundaes and the fresh produce. But fall is still my favorite season. It always will be. So until then, I'll try to stay cool and not sweat it. :)

Just got home from the Aquatic Centre. I had such a great time tonight. Attended the Aquafit class with my friend V. I can't believe how much fun I had! Will definitely go back again. What a great way to start the week!

Well, actually I didn't feel that way this morning. Scheduled to start work at 9am. i set my alarm for 7:45am. I woke up, snoozed it once, then turned it off, telling myself I would get up in a few moments. Guess what? I didn't. I woke up at 8:15am! I don't know how I did it, but I managed to be out of the house by 8:40am. That included packing, and cleaning up my room. Got to work 10 minutes late. Not too bad actually. Good thing traffic wasn't horrible. Sigh. When will I ever learn? No snoozing!!! Something I definitely need to work on.

Had a great weekend. Spent Saturday at home with family. I felt a pull to be at home, what with the news of my aunt last week. We found out last week that my aunt in the Philippines had a mild stroke and had to be admitted to the hospital. With her current condition (Stage IV cancer), the prognosis is not good. They found new mets in her liver, to add to the posse of mets that have invaded her brain, lungs, and bone. It was such a bummer for the whole family. She and one of her daughters, and one of her sisters were supposed to come here for a visit. We were gonna do the cruise all together, including my mom and dad, and another aunt who's here. It was going to be a blast. But God has other plans. My mom and aunt are going there instead. Sis #3 might go as well. Same with my dad. Sis #2 and hubby were at my parents' as well on Saturday. I played the singer in our rock band group. :) It was so much fun...

Yesterday after church, we headed to Richmond for some dimsum which I had been craving. Afterwards, we spent hours inside Costco. I got some glucosamine. I started taking them yesterday. I hope it works..... I pray it works, in addition to exercise and prayers. My mom got this set of pots and pans that were ceramic titanium. There was a man doing demos. My mom was sold. For $550 for a set of 10 (I think), it better be good! I believe she proceeded to trial them out last night. So far so good.

We headed to Aberdeen Centre afterwards. Had some frappe bliss :) and iced lemon tea. Danni worked on her homework while we sat there. Of course I had to go to Daiso and get some notebooks. :) I swear, I'm obsessed with notebooks. Their selection seems to have waned since I last went there. There are now only 2 aisles of notebooks. Even after I'd finished perusing, I found myself going back to peruse some more. Sigh. Went home with some more notebooks. :)

All in all a very busy weekend. Busy but good. Got lots of family time. Made lots of deposit into the emotional bank accounts of my sisters. Spoke with Sis #2 on the phone too last night. I needed it. It came at the perfect time. Somehow, words/things keep coming at just the right time, almost as if someone had set it all up...

Peace and Quiet

I spent an hour weeding my front lawn tonight. Felt great! I think I may be sore tomorrow though. Bending in unusual poses and moves. It took my mind off things. I felt better afterwards. Decided to treat myself to a bowl of peaches + ice cream. Sat on the couch and just enjoyed my treat. Savored the peace and quiet. Mind you though, peace and quiet is pretty much the norm around here, which is what you can expect when you live by yourself. Thought of him as I sat there. How many times had we sat there, sharing ice cream or some other treat? Talking about our days, our plans, how we made each other happy. What changed? When did we stop making each other happy? Why is it that people give up so easily? I'm a little disappointed. I'm back to this place again. Sigh. Back to this lonely feeling. Back to all these questions. Back to memories of him and me.

Called my mom up tonight just to check in. Read this this morning, and just couldn't stop smiling and chuckling to myself. What an entertaining read.

Listening to: Kelly Clarkson - The last song, If No One Will Listen, is my fave.
Reading: Jann Arden
Enjoying: this

It's Monday night.

Seriously, where does the time go? Before you know it, summer will be over already. I've been feeling behind, just trying to catch up with things. But I wonder, are these things really worth the effort, the stress, the worry? For example, weeding and ironing. My lawn doesn't look that bad really. There's just a couple of weeds that I want to pull out. I have been waiting for a block of time when I can do the whole lawn - front and back. But maybe I should just take 2 minutes to pull out the 2 big ones that are really bugging me. Done, decided. That's what I'll do tomorrow. Ironing. I have 5 shirts I need to iron. That's not a lot. I could probably wait another week. The thing is, those 5 shirts have been waiting to be ironed for more than a couple weeks now. Plus, I don't really own a lot of shirts that need to be ironed. Chances are, the 5 shirts that have been patiently waiting to be ironed are the only 5 shirts I own that need to be ironed! It's decided then. I will iron those 5 shirts tomorrow and get them off my back.

Feeling a little heavy hearted today. I got my aunt's bone scans and CT reports. They don't look good. She's supposed to come and visit us in a couple of weeks. But I don't know if her doctors will let her. Six months, that's what the doctors said. What can you do in six months? It seems so short. I think of the past 6 months. What did I accomplish? Not much really. Nothing stands out in terms of accomplishments. I learned lots though. I learned how important it is to have good relations with friends and family. They are the ones you'll fall back on after a break-up. I learned that no matter how much you want something to work, it takes two to tango. I learned that core differences cannot be ignored; they will always surface. I learned that there are 5 love languages, and that quality time is my love language. I learned that it's okay to be single. I learned that God is in the midst of all our pain, and that we can find comfort in Him. I learned that career was not my priority, when I always thought that it was. I learned that I crave something deeper, something more lasting than accomplishments and awards and letters to my name. I learned that I can mow the lawn by myself. :) I learned that I can be a source of encouragement for other people.

I can't remember shedding as much tears as I did than the past 6 months. So much hurt and pain. But God has used this time to show me Himself. For that, I am grateful.

I wanted to share a photo of me and sis #4 that's making me so happy before I sign off.